Deep In My Heart
by kokurousagi
Summary: Vignette FF8. Rewritten. It could not be said. Only felt.


**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy 8 belongs to Square Enix. Go ahead, I dare you to say otherwise.

**Notes:** This is a song fiction piece that I really love, and I hope you do, too. Unfortunately, **fan fiction dot net** bans song fiction, so we'll have to do without that offensive thing. Hopefully you will download Trish Thuy Trang's song, which is similarly named, and give it a go while you're reading. It helps with the ambience of the whole thing.

* * *

"So..."

"Yeah..."

Deep within the Balamb Garden training center, two SeeD officers disobeyed Garden rules by meeting in the training center's 'secret area' after hours. Quistis Trepe, child prodigy, former instructor, and the pride of Balamb Garden was sitting on the balcony rail, sitting before the figure in white that stood in front of her. Midnight dew dampened Quistis' long golden hair, and her quiet eyes were directed at the steel-toed boots of Seifer Almasy.

"...Finally a SeeD, I heard," she said softly.

"That's right," answered Seifer in a low voice. He ran black-gloved hands through his short blonde hair, his smirking eyes brighter than anyone had ever seen. "Bet you're surprised, eh, Instructor?"

Quistis let out a quiet chuckle and raised her head. Cerulean blue met flaming jade. "It's a miracle," she whispered.

"What would you have expected, I give up?" Seifer questioned. "Now, Instructor, you should know me better than that."

"I didn't expect you to give up, Seifer." Quistis eased herself off the rail and stood straight, looking up at Seifer. At six feet tall, she was dwarfed by the man. "And don't call me Instructor anymore, how many times have I told you that."

"I like it," Seifer answered easily, shrugging. He was used to Quistis' questions, questions that didn't even sound like questions but statements. She never bothered really asking him anything. She would just simply state something, and wait for him to agree or disagree with it. Because Seifer Almasy very much disliked interrogation. It made him feel more mischievous than he really was.

"...I can see that." Quistis leaned against the balcony. "I wanted to congratulate you."

"Is that why you called me out here?" Seifer asked in disbelief. "You could've congratulated me at the SeeD ball!" And then he remembered that she wasn't there. "But...I didn't see you..."

"I didn't go," came the quiet reply.

"What, afraid to see my success?" Seifer sounded petulant. He was ready for her fierce retort, ready to pounce upon her feeble excuses, but…

"No, not that." Quistis shook her head, beads of water falling from her hair down to her face. Absently, she wiped at the dew drops that quivered at her lips. "Never that, Seifer. I was very proud of you." She turned away, placed her hands on the railing, and Seifer saw that they were fisted tightly. "Did I have to stop being instructor for you to pass." She glanced at him and Seifer saw, for the first time since he'd known her, the insecurity that lay beyond the delicate features of her face. But it was only for a fleeting moment, and Quistis looked away again. She smiled. "I apologize. That was completely off-topic, and piteous to boot."

"Is that why we're out here?" Seifer asked.

She shook her head. "No. I didn't just call you out to congratulate you, although that was the initial idea. I wanted to tell you…I'm going to quit."

It took a minute for her announcement to penetrate Seifer's brain. "Wait, what?"

She looked at him. "Seifer, you heard me."

"Yeah, I heard you, I just don't believe you."

"What's so unbelievable about my quitting." Quistis sighed softly. "I came here because I wanted to make a difference. A big one. And it doesn't get any bigger than Ultimecia, does it. So I quit. I've seen the world, done all I could. I think it's time for me to live the civilian life." She looked out beyond the balcony, at the quiet, twinkling lights of Balamb in the distance. "Move on."

"So that's it?"

"...Yes." Quistis nodded. "Yes, I suppose."

"What about Squall?" Seifer looked at her. "And Zell, and Selphie, the others. Do they know?"

"They'll find out after I leave. I wanted to tell you first."

"Why me? I thought you hated me. We're not exactly the best of friends."

"I don't want to be told to talk to a wall," Quistis stated, turning her attention to Garden, lit up and beautiful in the moonlight. "Zell would complain, Selphie would whine...you were the only one, I knew, who wouldn't say a word about it."

"...You think I don't care?"

"You care, but not as much as the others. Like you said, we're not the best of friends…but we were friends. And I trust you."

"Trust me?"

"I trust you not to tell them anything. Not until I'm gone."

"Why do you want to leave without telling them?"

"Because they would try to stop me." Quistis turned to him, and Seifer was surprised to see her small, slow smile. "Would you try to stop me as well."

Seifer stared at her, then slowly shook his head. "I don't have the right to interfere. And besides, you're too stubborn to listen, anyway."

"Hm." Quistis smiled serenely. "I thought so. Even though...even if we have rarely talked, and always argued...you seem to know me so well. You understand me better than they do. It's an interesting world, isn't it. My only friend tonight is the former enemy of the world." She glanced at Seifer, who turned away and stood aside, glaring at the sky. "By the way, you ARE forgiven, you know."

"Not by everyone."

"Does everyone matter. Back then, you didn't care."

"Back then...when I was your student. Those were good times."

Quistis blinked and looked at him. Seifer smirked.

"What, you think I hated you?"

"...I..."

"I didn't. You were a good teacher, Quistis, really." Quistis started again at the mention of her name. He never said her name. "I'm not the academic type. There was so much of the world to see, and I was stuck inside a classroom. I felt the same way you feel now.

"But you were patient. You tried. You did your best to be everyone's instructor, to be MY instructor. I just didn't see it back then. And they..." Seifer looked at Garden, "the Garden didn't see it that way, either."

"...We're misunderstood souls." Quistis smiled. "How poetic."

"And then...after that, with Ultimecia, I saw through your eyes."

Silence from Quistis.

"I did what I believed was right, and was persecuted for it. No one saw it the way I did. And it was hard. Hard as hell. I don't know how you went through two years of that. I still don't. But...I understood you better, Quistis. Just a little, but I understood you better. You're a hell of a lot braver than people give you credit for. And after what they did to you...I understand why you would want to quit."

A short silence...then Quistis spoke.

"...Thank you."

Seifer looked at her, utterly surprised.

"Thank you for understanding," Quistis repeated. "And for being there for me... Even if it was just for tonight."

"You know...it doesn't have to be just for tonight."

Quistis shot him a questioning glance. Seifer met her eyes, his lips quirking in a smile. Like his usual smirk, but different. He snapped a crisp, perfect SeeD salute.

"SeeD officer Seifer Orien Almasy, ma'am, at your service. Anytime, anywhere, anything...even for just a conversation." He shrugged. "Since you trust me and all that crap."

Quistis stared at him blankly for a moment, then smiled. "Thank you, Seifer..."

She returned the salute and left the 'secret area', feeling better than she had in days. She glanced back at Seifer, watched him as he stared at the velvet black sky with fiery eyes that hid his heart, a heart that many thought he didn't have.

_Thank you._


End file.
